Forced to walk more slowly still

When we arrived in Kathmandu and had our first team discussion, one of the team reminded us about the commissioning service and the importance of walking slowly.  I thought that this was what I was doing, but there were other plans in store.

Walking from the Guesthouse to SDSS on the first morning I stepped off a high kerb (with a foot and a half drop), went over on my ankle and fell over.  I was quickly back on my feet, and although it was sore was okay to carry on.  We arrived at SDSS just in time for morning devotions which all went well, but when I went to stand up I realised very quickly there was a problem.

Thankfully we had Lesley - a former physiotherapist -  on  our team, and S another physiotherapist on the staff at the SDSS centre.  Both took a look at my injury and were concerned that the pain was coming from the centre of my foot.  No-one was saying it but I think we all thought it might be broken at that stage.  BJ organised some crutches and a driver and within a few minutes S was ready to accompany me to the local Alka Hospital, along with our team leader Roger. 

S has been working for SDSS for 9 months and was well used to navigating patients from outlying areas who come to Kathmandu for medical treatment, and she knew exactly what to do.  She took me by the hand and calmly managed the whole process from start to finish.  All I had to do was be there.

I was preparing myself for a long wait, but within an hour I had been given a wheelchair, checked over by a doctor, x-rayed and sent home with medications….what a contrast to the long waits we usually face back home in the NHS!  Thankfully there was no fracture, but it was very badly sprained.  I was told not to bear weight on it and was asked to attend a review appointment in a few days. So we returned to SDSS to continue on our day. 

I have never previously had more than a bad twist, no broken bones, no issues of any kind.  So when I was told that I was not to put any weight on the foot at all for four days I was just so thankful that it wasn’t broken.

That feeling changed very quickly when I was presented with a pair of crutches and I soon realised that our hosts needed to provide me with lessons for using them.  I spent the whole day asking people to do things for me and help me with things.  Being a fiercely independent person, I really struggled with my newly developed dependency.  “Walk slowly” suddenly became my new norm.

It will come as no surprise that the Team were amazing, rallying to help with everything from fetching me water, to standing behind me whilst I tried to hop up and down steps, providing ice packs and reminding me to take medications.  But something inside of me would not let go of the desire to manage this myself.

I tried to put a brave face on things, but honestly, all I could think of was why would God allow me to travel all this way to end up like this? I think I spent most of the first day crying, mainly out of pure frustration from how much I was going to hinder the plans we had made.

The next day came around and I was wondering what the day would bring.  I was dubious about just how much I could do.  But then I walked into SDSS and realised that most of the staff we had been working with so far had some form of ailment or disability.  I had a humbling moment when I realised that I didn’t think any less of them for that, and in return, they thought no less of me for mine.  I learned that when I had offered to hold a door open or move a chair out of someone’s way, I had done it out of love and care for that person, not out of pity or obligation. 

I realised that this might all have happened to me to make me realise two things: firstly there is no shame in asking a brother or sister in Christ for help, and secondly that help is not given out of pity, it is given out of love.

I have realised that it is easy to say that you understand how someone is feeling about a situation, but unless you have actually walked in their shoes (or clumsily stumbled along in their crutches) you can only imagine.

I am also reminded of the SSDS motto – for the least of these!!

When I realised there was actually something wrong with my foot I really did feel like the least.  My mind was whirring with all the things I couldn’t do, all the things I was going to miss out on.  But opportunities arose for me to do things that I wouldn’t have done.  I was definitely walking slowly, and that opened different doors that I didn’t even know existed.  I have seen a completely different side to things than I expected when I was packing my bags to come.  I have certainly had my eyes opened.  They say the Lord works in mysterious ways and I would certainly have to say that this experience has taught me that.